Match Report
And so, another year, another tour…..
A year full of prosperity, joy, laughter and most of all another member to the 1st XI squad, courtesy of Mrs Statham and Ragnar’s good seed.
We walk into two of the toughest games of the season, HAC considered the toughest, with 13 games played, 13 games won. Some head into the weekend on the notion that this is the end of the run……
Pre tour activities were arranged for the Ramblers elite, meeting in the sophisticated and prestigious Antelope Pub, Sloane Square. A pub of Ramblers history and mystery. Williamson finished by 9:30pm, next door neighbours’ door plastered with the night’s digestion. Captain Holt leading by example, photos distributed of water irrigation and fag inhalation. The perfect pre game warm up.
The train from Clapham as wondrous as always, Howat timed his ablutions with perfection, trousers down as the train pulled into Godlalming. Greeted by a sea of bait…..we arrive at the prestigious school with plenty of time to spare. One note to their master, one toilet between 13 blokes is highly insufficient.
A toiled warm up got the chaps in shape. An unusual line up with Doherty, Handley & Faulkner shaping the back thee, Midfield of Williamson, Bradshaw & Parker with wingbacks Howat & White, a strike force consisting of the spritely Cowper & El Statico himself, Holt. Exuberant bench of Apel & Kresnyak.
The game started with passion and pace from both sides, the expansive pitch with picturesque backdrop suited the Rambler’s flare and pace down the wings. Early chances for Cowper & Holt scarpered. The fitness of the young whipper snappers fresh from ‘10 of the best’ following the mornings lessons, showed the 1st XI that they were in for a game.
Fantastic shape helped keep the Charterhouse team at bay, constant calls for ‘energy’ from Holt kept the Ramblers suitably confused. Long story short. Football, kicking, goals, fun, WIN. On to the fun stuff.
With Dad Duffy suitably paired up with the resident ‘Pole’ Kresnyak for the night’s snuggling, we abluted and assembled in the Duke of Edinburgh for a night of consumption. In a reuniting that Davina McCall and her lost long families would have been proud to air, Doherty was tearful and taken back as he was emotionally reunited with his baby twin brother following their separation at birth. How their lives had been shaped so differently, one, a fat bald man who enjoys spending his time visiting Liverpool to watch Everton FC, whilst enjoying ravishing trips down to Derby to indulge his bit on the side. The other, a devilishly handsome, charming beast from Scandinavia……
Fines consumed, Bradshaw rightly punished for his turtle neck wearing friend’s absence from the nights escapades. Phipps left to stew following his demoralising aggrievance on the Cambridge Tour. All in all a very light fine list!
Inside saw Jim ‘Jim’ Byrne in his finest regalia enjoying the local community. Handley, as always in his statuesque silhouette attracted unreasonable attention from the opposite sex. Two fine young ladies who may well have been powdering their nose a little too diligently……took fine acceptation to the son of a gout ridden potato picker, and even divulged that she was indeed a confirmed sex addict. Most at this stage would call off the night’s plans and proceed directly to the nearest place to lie down. Sadly young Handley who has considerable issues with ‘sealing the deal’, is the only man in the entire planet chizzled out of pure granite who could possibly fail to bed a self-confessed sex addict. Work must be done….
The only way up was Infernos. Sticky carpets, WKD’s, Vodka Lemonade & Limes and NeYo on the boom box, what more does an overage Rambler require? Suitably looking like a school disco with our Dads Duffy & Doherty looking on at the boys who insisted on dancing together in group, no girls allowed, don’t think the second edition of Cheshire Tarts quite understand the power of the finger in Infernos, something young Howat was to find out later on. His arse acting like the Earth to the Moon and gravitating interest from any young Newcastle student in a 5 meter radius. Collateral damage was sure to be present during the natural occurrence, some say he is still seen today pleading with her to fuck off.
Following a ‘deposit’ of monumental magnitude from Holt, the lightweights & their adult companions decided it was time to call things a night, much to the anguish of the Captain. Nevertheless Holt & Howat ensured that the Ramblers were still represented till closing. Although even for Holt it got too much when a Kebab was thrown in his face during a heated confrontation, and sensibly deduced that it was time to get some shut eye before the big game. Howat proceeded to the love nest.
So on to Armoury House. Some worse for wear, we lined up as a team to defend our magnificent unbeaten run. Was this the end?
The Mighty Ramblers were quick out of the box, terrorising a shocked HAC line up. Wave after wave of attack, firing from the left and right, the home team were on the retreat. Just as HAC settled within their trenches, up stepped the man of the moment, with his twin brother looking on with pride from the touchline he channelled Zola with magnificent affect, delightful corner in from Howat met by a steamrolling run from the Scandinavian Sensation, only to flick, no less caress, the ball with deathly precision into the back of the HAC net…….or so he recalls!! Some say he was seen to trip on his laces, close his eyes from a flick of mud, and tripped over the ball before it scrambled into the back of the net. Make up your own decision, either way we were not going to hear the end of this……
With the HAC’s backs up they started to play some smart football from the back. This did not phase the Ramblers as they kept their shape with elegant effect. An unlucky equaliser was conceded, later disputed from photographic evidence as to whether Kresnyak should have been out to the man….all I know is that Phipps is still seen flapping to this day by the grounds man. All in all a good half and a once in a decade opportunity for the 1st XI to nab something from this long established fixture.
Tireless work from Bradshaw, Williamson & Handley in the middle saw a lack of product created from a very good HAC midfield. Soaring runs from Cowper & Howat kept increasing pressure on the opposition defence.
Sadly their pressure prevailed with a mightily unlucky set piece, which was later confirmed to be an appalling and frankly obvious foul that allowed their scorer to have a free header. However, as is the Rambler way, we picked ourselves up and fought to regain some presence within this close match.
The game was becoming more and more pressurised with the 1stXI pressing and fighting for every scrap of opportunity to level things up. Finally our chance, Cowper a magnificent run, spurred on by Williamsons call ‘do something special Ferg’ (what a goon sack), Cowper gladly obliged, nipped past one, two, three, perfect ball into Holt who strikes……Save!! All on and off the field surely thought this was our last chance.
With a minute left on the clock Howat Picked up the ball on the right hand side and drove at the left back. Sliding the ball passed him, he wholloped a slicing ball across the middle, it looked although it was missing everyone. Everyone except Cowper who coolly pinged the ball into the bottom left hand corner, giving the keeper no chance. IT WAS THERE, the jubilation from years of waiting was clear to see on all the faces of the Ramblers, playing or supporting.
The final whistle confirmed a well-deserved sharing of the famous cup, although it is not unfair to say that the Ramblers were slightly unlucky not to be walking away with sole honours. Nevertheless, the team were thrilled to have their hands on the cup following a lengthy wait. Most of all the well contested match was a fitting tribute to the HAC president Charles Randall whose passion for the game and the historic fixture was invigorating for all involved, he will be sadly missed by both clubs.
A fantastic tour topped off by a brilliant performance considering the effects felt by each Rambler following the night before.
Man of the Tour, Jamie Bradshaw for his on field performance & Harry Howat for his off field performance. Somebody please teach those Cheshire Tarts how to speak to girls…..
Here’s to many many more!!!
Up the Ramblers.
Charterhouse School 1st XI:
Charterhouse 1 : 7 Liverpool Ramblers
Goals: Holt / Cowper / Parker / Howat / Apel x3
Assists: Holt / Williamson / Cowper / Parker / White
MOTM: J Bradshaw
HAC 1st XI:
HAC 2 : 2 Liverpool Ramblers
Goals: Doherty / Cowper
Assists: Howat x2
MOTM: B Phipps