Match Report
Anti-mimesis is a philosophical position that holds the direct opposite of Aristotelian mimesis. Its most notable proponent is Oscar Wilde, who opined in his 1889 essay The Decay of Lying that, “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life”. This is not to say that Wayne Rooney’s goal from the half-way line against West Ham was art, or even skill, rather than fluke. Nor is it to say that Aid Roger’s goal from the half-way line was life; it just ruined life for the people in the car with him on the journey back North.
Last year the 1st XI fulfilled this fixture and won 5-1. Four survived from that team (Mornington, Power, Rogers and Warren) but four over 60s (was this the oldest Ramblers team in the 112-year history of this fixture?!) and a three-hour journey to the game made this a big challenge for the Vets. Having said that, it was only a three-hour trip for the people in the car which accepted Jim Byrne’s advice to take the M6 toll road.
The tinker-man skipper went for another change of formation, opting for 4-1-4-1 this week, with Animal Magic in the Claude Makélélé role in front of the back 4. Except the back 4 was really a back 1-3, adopting the Italian Catenaccio system, pioneered by Austrian coach Karl Rappan as coach of Switzerland in the 1930s and 1940s and perfected by the Internazionale team of the early 1960. There was a certain irony in this tactical change, the 71-year-old and excellent referee keeping up with play at all times and blowing up at the merest hint of offside. Oh, how Van Pointon would have loved him.
Those following these reports will remember Shepherd emotionally blackmailing the skipper into starting him in Pollença by bringing his parents to watch; he was magnificently trumped by the President who brought both his wife and his two Labradors. He started at left back.
The Vets started well. The trouble with starting well is that starting well and not scoring builds pressure. Caught on the break, soon the youngsters were 2-0 ahead. Giving the opposition the ball in dangerous positions remains a problem, mind you.
Then the Vets were back in the game, Rogers scoring with a good hooked shot over the keeper which was not the stunning volley he titled it at about junction 4 of the M5 return trip. First Mornington then Rogers hit the post and these were important moments in the match. Another gift took the score to 3-1. The restart saw McGuckin with his foot on the ball on the half-way line; he lifted his foot off the ball and Rogers scored. It looked quite good but the opposition goalkeeper’s credentials were starkly revealed at the end of the match by those who shook his hand, which turned out to be clothed with a gardening glove. Still, it wasn’t a bad strike.
The Vets were in complete control for the first twenty minutes of the second half, the equaliser and winner seeming to be inevitable. But they weren’t. Tired legs made tired mistakes, the speed of youth took advantage, and 3-2 quickly became 6-2. Mornington slotted a consolation goal after good chances from corners went begging. Malvern scored a seventh.
The post-match pasta was lovely. Thanks to everyone who made the journey. I think we will keep this fixture for ourselves next year, it was fun. But black boots only please.
