Match Report
The scene for this week’s match was Bebington Oval, a stadium that was used in the great sporting film ‘Chariots of Fire’ and a football pitch upon which Tranmere Rovers reserve and ladies’ teams ply their trade. Clearly hallowed ground worthy of the footballing powerhouse that is the Rambler’s thirds.
Unfortunately, despite the large stadium, vast floodlit pitch and pin drop previously provided on google maps, some of our players managed to get lost on route. Clearly accustomed to the more humble surroundings of our usual away fixtures, I can only assume that they were busy checking every garden shed, shipping container and crack den within a two mile radius of the pitch before they thought to check the main stand of the stadium.
Consequently, the now traditional 30 second pre-match mumble followed. Aided this time by the 4ths captain, the man, the myth the leg-end, Jerry, volunteering to go in nets for the full 90 minutes. The only slight problem was that Jerry doesn’t normally play in nets. Having a new keeper is a bit like having a toddler; on the one hand you look on with nothing but pride and joy, but on the other hand you worry that they could sh*t the bed at any time. Jerry didn’t keep a clean sheet but he did manage not to soil himself and for that, we will be forever grateful.
Our opposition started with the intensity of a jazz quartet. I mean you could tell they were really into it but it wasn’t much of a spectator sport. Somehow, however, this seemed to stun most of our team who looked as if they were too busy trying to listen to the silence between the notes rather than play football. We all seemed to be just tapping our feet until we ended up 1-0 down to the beatniks.
Our very own ‘Ambassador of Quan’ quickly broke the trance with a few choice expletives at full volume. Sometimes, however, in the Fog of War it’s difficult to distinguish between friendly forces and the enemy. In tribute to a fallen comrade, The Ambassador did his best Damian impersonation and provided some ‘constructive criticism’ to the majority of the team, the captain and the ref.
Thankfully, reinforcements arrived in the shape of Tom Newton. With no shin pads, some skinny black socks and a beret he descended into the arena to fight fire with fire. A raid into enemy territory in the second half resulted in a free kick at least 30 yards from goal. Having realised that we were yet to fire any shots on target, the captain issued the visionary order to ‘test the keeper’. In fact, it turned out that this particular keeper couldn’t pass an eye test. Newton’s lofted shot trickled through Stevie Wonder’s open arms and the scores were even. 1-1.
Having just got level, the captain continued to play musical chairs with the substitutions. We struggled to get any rhythm going and St Anne’s scored again on a counter attack. The silence was deafening. 2-1.
But the opera isn’t over until the fat lady sings, and no Ramblers match is complete until Ant gets his goal. A great painter just needs a canvas, a great writer just needs an empty page and Ant just needs a football pitch. He picked up the ball inside the oppo’s half, turned the defender inside out and buried it in the bottom corner with a low hard shot from the edge of the box. Asking him play for the Ramblers thirds is a bit like asking Picasso to paint your garage. But, needless to say, he gets the job done. 2-2
St Anne’s hung on for a deserved draw but as a sign of our high standards the draw seemed disappointing. Hopefully we’ll improve next time out as in the words of Miles Davis “There’s no such thing as a wrong note, it is always the next note that you play that determines whether it is good or bad”. With a more regular band of brothers and fewer bum notes, I’m sure we’ll get back to making some more sweet music in the months ahead.
And on the bright side, Ramblers 3XI unbeaten run for the season continues (obviously that’s not counting the informal pre-season ‘friendlies’ before our official friendlies).
MoM – Tom Newton.