Match Report
Different teams go in for different motivational tricks before big matches. The Eastwood 3rd XI of yesteryear went in for big rock tracks which, frankly, lowered the tone at Moor Lane. But when news filtered through that James Corden had been stalking Mike Bagley and had chosen his band’s Santa Baby for the Gavin and Stacey Christmas Special, there was only one way forward for this match. For a sneak preview of Christmas Day’s standout TV event (and to recreate the Malvern Vibe), just click here.
With the new club sock tape also making its debut, spirits could not have been higher. The President, having committed himself to going to Repton, had sent his special envoy Kingsford to oversee events and ensure proper Corinthian behaviour at this fixture which is now well into its seventh decade. But a gloom descended on the team when it became apparent that the envoy had not brought his kit and the skipper would be starting the match. Late drop outs meant that for once, he managed to name the correct starting XI as only eleven had travelled. This number of players proved, however, to make perfect sense in due course.
Those literary readers will well know that when he spoke of blue remembered hills, A.E. Housman was talking about Shropshire but invariably looking from Worcestershire. Malvern, of course, has its own hills but they were (almost as always) clouded in mist when the game kicked off. That having been said, the pitch was in remarkably good condition and indeed provided the only fixture for any Ramblers team this weekend. The opposition looked young, fit and plentiful in numbers but having an average age three times that of the opposition is hardly a rarity for this team; it is often the case even when we play other Vets teams. But you wouldn’t have thought it when early on, Gendall sprinted through the Malvern half and hit the post with a brilliant effort. He was not to be denied, though, and minutes later scored directly from a corner. “Don’t let him take it, he’ll just float it in, let Eddie take it” said Mornington just before he scored.
The opposition hit back, though, Kingsford’s surrogate son made an impressive save but in the follow up play he let one in. Happily, a watching Malvernian suggested to the ref that offside was at play, the ref took that at face value and disallowed the goal. To say thank you for that great sportsmanship, and for no other reason, the skipper then allowed himself to be caught in possession after a foolish backpass and the scores were level.
The Ramblers took the lead again, this time Gendall created the goal, passing the ball to Russ Hall who held off the full back and with his right foot fizzed the ball into the bottom corner*. The lead was relinquished once more, though this time to a good goal. Always too hard on himself, Whyte shouted “What am I doing?” to himself, but what in fact he did was then restore the lead with a very well taken goal. Too keep things consistent, however, a third equaliser was conceded, making it 3-3 at half time. The last kick of the half, however, was to Gendall’s fragile right ankle and though there was nothing malicious in the tackle, it ended Gendall’s participation in the game. At half time, as Bodey’s Sainsbury’s oranges were consumed, Eddie Jones was seen contemplating just how well his turnout cup prospects were developing as the Malvern physio drove over to tend to our star midfielder.
With no sub to call upon, the options were Kingy in his coat and school shoes or the loan of a player from Malvern. We were generously provided with Luke, whose name will crop up once or twice in the remainder of this report.
Minutes into the half, the value of a Malvern education was quickly revealed as Luke thought it might be an idea to cross the ball to the head of probably the first 6’5” striker he has ever played with. He found Mornington perfectly, whose bullet header was the first leg of what proved to be an impressive lesson in goalscoring . Luke then executed a neat turn and drilled the ball into the bottom corner to establish, for the first time, a two goal lead. Mornington then charged down a clearance 45 yards out and then ran solo towards the goal and finished in a style reminiscent of Jamie Vardy at his best. Let’s just hope Peri doesn’t get involved in some dreadful Twitter row with Louis Holt’s missus as a result. Then the Luke show got back on the road. He was given the ball after a brilliant Hall run down the left, then crossed to Mornington who swept the ball home with his left foot to complete the perfect hat-trick*.
Luke was then replaced by the splendidly named Tor (not as good a name as Melchior from 4 years ago but excellent nonetheless) who made an excellent contribution too. King and Bagley repelled attacks from the flanks and Gorton and Pointon down the middle. A second half clean sheet was the result, and 7-3 did not flatter. This was an excellent performance in a game that had nearly everything and was played in great spirit.
Unlike some 1st XI reports, this one will not reveal details of what happened during a very enjoyable night out Cheltenham, made much the better for a victory. A few matters though: Gorton was able to join us once the 45 minute charge to his electric car was complete, the chap who mistakenly walked off with Angus’ coat and phone has been tracked down and Gendall was just about able to walk.
Well played all, on and off the pitch.
* If Jordan and Russ think I haven’t described the goals exactly as I tried to note them in the car journey on the way to Cheltenham, I hope they’ll let me know as soon as possible.