Match Report
Some parts of captaincy are easy. Some rules are straightforward. For example:
- Half time oranges are popular.
- Don’t tell people how many are in the squad until it’s too late for them to cry off.
- Always have the valuables bag out before Murf arrives; failure to do so brings about real panic.
- Don’t tell Rushie he’s got time on the ball. Further panic ensues.
- Don’t put too many midweek email gaffs into the match reports, your sources dry up.
- Don’t count on the President staying on the pitch when you want him to, he will arrange his own substitutions.
- All players from Cheshire are prima donnas.
- Give up on dreaming of 11 payers in black boots.
- If you let a goal in and it’s McNay’s fault, actually it’s your fault.
And now a tenth. NEVER tell RvP that he is having a good season. Calamity will surely follow, as it did this Saturday with the arrival of Pollença.
A gentle warm up on Friday night revealed what the early arrival photos had suggested; if this Pollença team was a gin and tonic, age and experience would count for a teaspoon of Sipsmiths, youthful vigour and skill for a gallon of Fever Tree tonic. The start of the match was held up by a photo session with the Echo which whilst never likely to give the away fixture photocall a run for its money, certainly was not short on detail; but we are very grateful to Jim Davies for doing the honours: see here for the gallery. Just before the game started, the Vets lineup was announced in breach of what has now become the tenth and most important rule.
It all started so well. Early possession and pressure led to a corner which McNay headed on and for the second week running, an own goal put the Ramblers ahead. That was his last meaningful contribution to the game, his injury record now rivalling Trevor Francis’s (and there the comparisons end). Chances were squandered before a neat interchange saw the visitors draw level. Bright red beanie hats, scarves, snoods; none of them looked out of place as the passing game more often seen on the Pollença astroturf made it to Moor Lane.
Then the rule breach kicked in. On the edge of the box, RvP went from Henry the Mild mannered Janitor to Hong Kong Phooey, conceding a free kick in dangerous territory. The apparently innocuous dead ball kick was brilliantly deflected by the wall to make it a certain goal. Just before half time another goal came, a neat move ending in a shot saved and the rebound being skilfully dragged over the line by a desperate and despairing Bodey, restored to centre half after last week’s midfield cameo (kindest word I could come up with).
Five minutes into the second half and it was 4-1, some more comedy defending responsible. Then the comeback. First Mornington scored an excellent header from a Rogers corner, then Clay converted a penalty to take the Vets within a goal at 4-3. Pressure built, an equaliser seemed imminent, then RvP dispossessed Bodey on the edge of the box and drilled a shot at the keeper, who just managed to keep it out. But it was the edge of our box, not theirs, the rebound was cheekily chipped into the net and it was 5-3. Eddie Jones, in probably his best perferomname of the season, took the game by the scruff of the neck, raced down the right wing and crossed to Mornington, whose header was better than his first goal and it was game on once more at 5-4.
Bodey has the perfect opportunity to make up for the first half but blazed a sitter over from 6 yards out, Rogers forced a great save from the keeper but the ball just wouldn’t go in. Gaps appeared at the back, two more were conceded and the game drifted away from the Vets. No dramatic injury (thank goodness), no ambulance, no glorious comeback.
So we lost to a team with this man as its captain. Can’t wait till we do it again in September.
